7 Ways to Say 'No' Tactfully and Still be a Team Player

Saying ‘no’, especially to bosses or clients, can be extremely hard but as Danny Wallace found out in his book ‘Yes Man’, saying ‘yes’ all the time can bring unwelcome consequences.

The most successful entrepreneurs and leaders agree that saying ‘no’ is vital for maintaining focus, reaching your goals and commanding respect.

“The art of leadership is saying ‘no’, not ‘yes’. It is very easy to say ‘yes’.” – Tony Blair

“The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.” – Warren Buffet

“It’s only by saying ‘no’ that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” – Steve Jobs

However, no one wants to be labelled ‘not a team player’ or risk damaging their professional relationships, so it’s necessary to exercise extreme tact when turning down requests. Here are 7 ways to say ‘no’ without burning any bridges.

Think it through

If you have been asked to do something and your initial instinct is that you do not want to do it, take a minute to think about the reasons why before answering ‘no’. Do you already feel stressed with your workload? Will it cut into important family time? Are you worried you don’t have the necessary expertise?

It’s important to communicate the reasons for your reluctance and show that you have the best interests of the team/company/client at heart, since output is likely to suffer if you accept the task.

If you are caught off guard and are not ready for this conversation, buy yourself time by saying something like: “Let me check my schedule for next week and I’ll come back to you ASAP.”

Invite a solution

Once you have given your reasons why you do not want to accept a task, be sure to communicate that you are open-minded to solutions. For example, if the reason is because you are already too busy, state that you would be happy to accept if you could be relieved of other responsibilities.

Showing willing demonstrates that you are not trying to be difficult and will protect your reputation as a team player. It might be that your boss or client considers this task as more important than your existing work and this gives them the opportunity to work with you and re-prioritise your workload.

Stand your ground

While you might be willing to take on a new responsibility with caveats (i.e. extra training or an extended deadline), don’t be pressured into doing something if you can’t find a solution that’s agreeable.

Be clear about your position and don’t offer false hope by saying you will try to do something if you know you won’t. Although this might temporarily placate the person making the request, in the long run this will only lead to greater disappointment.

Communicate in person

If at all possible, don’t deliver your decline in an email. Without visual – or at least vocal – clues, your message can easily be misinterpreted. The tone is lost and, no matter how carefully constructed, your email might be perceived as excuse-making or, even worse, rude.

Going into long-winded reasons about why you can’t do it is also likely to be received negatively. A short, in-person answer is best-case scenario. It’s always preferable to be able to see the whites of the eyes when giving bad news – for both the receiver and the giver, since it also allows you to gauge their reaction.

Offer an alternative

Although you are saying ‘no’ you can still endeavour to be helpful, which softens the blow. You might be able to contribute in another way, or perhaps you can free up someone else from your team who is better placed to help?

If appropriate, you can also offer to assist with finding a suitable outside resource to fulfil the requirement. For example, by overseeing the hiring of a temp or bringing in an external PR company.

Help where you can

If you genuinely are a team player and help colleagues when you can then people are less likely to think badly of you when you do say ‘no’.

You might feel unable to help with this particular request, but be sure to keep an eye out for when others need a hand and take this as an opportunity to step up.

You can also demonstrate to colleagues whose requests you’ve turned down that it’s nothing personal by doing them small favours.

Put a positive spin on it

‘Happiness Concierge’ Rachel Service suggests making a ‘no sandwich’ to deliver refusals in a positive way.

She says to first make the asker feel good by validating their request. This means listening to what they have to say and then agreeing it is important.

Next, give them your answer and explain your reason with fact rather than emotion (i.e. it’s not in your skill set or it’s not something you currently have capacity for).

Quickly follow this up a with a positive that helps deflect attention i.e. “I do know who would be absolutely perfect to take on this task,” or “I’d love to be able to get involved with this when my workload lets up – could we maybe set up a meeting for next month?”

Says Service: “Saying no quickly and then letting them know you’re still keen to work together in future means you won’t lose potential work or rub people the wrong way.”

Conclusion

Feeling empowered to say ‘no’ can put you in control of both your work and professional life. It prevents you from becoming a martyr, and subsequently resenting others for doing so.

While many people feel pressured to say ‘yes’ to everything asked of them at work, managing professional boundaries allows you to place your focus where it can best help your team. It is something you will ultimately be respected for.